Back in May I delivered a TED style talk at my employee conference to over 2000 people. I did this without a teleprompter and without notes. Here is the transcript of that speech. If you'd prefer to watch the video, you can access it here.
This talk is dedicated to Jahmeelah “Jam” Gamble who reminded me who the fuck I am. Her #slaythemic course waitlist is open right now. If you’re wanting to level up your voice, I highly recommend getting your butt on the waitlist.
Picture this. You’re sitting on yet another Team’s call. It’s your monthly team meeting. You hear your leader finish asking a question and your brain signals you, wake up, you can answer this one! You deliver the most thoughtful and compelling argument you have ever delivered in your life. This is the kind of contribution your leader will refer to in your upcoming performance review. Your peers will be inspired, and your team will become more collaborative because of it. It’s the very thing that will get you the recognition you so rightfully deserve. But none of those things will ever happen. Why? Because you never... actually... opened... your mouth.
For those of you I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Lydia Cardinal and I’m a Senior Program Manager on the Customer Care team. Outside of work, I’m a wife, a mom, a writer and a lover of a good book. I am also what my girl, Luvvie Ajayi, calls a Professional Troublemaker.
Ever since I can remember I have been told I talked TOO MUCH. I was that kid who’s report card read: “Lydia is a bright and intelligent girl, but she is often disruptive of class discussions”. This was a polite way of saying I asked too many questions and challenged them when they made statements I didn’t think were grounded in facts and asked them to explain themselves. This was not something my teachers were ready to entertain in their classrooms. Their style of learning was “listen to what I tell you and accept it as fact”. However, my learning style required me to ask questions and poke at theories to make sense of them. Since they felt like I was challenging them, they attempted to silence me. Unfortunately for them, the rebel in me consumed their comments like fuel to my fire. I was on a mission to prove to them that what I had to say was valuable and often offered my voice on behalf of those who didn't feel as rebellious as me.
Now I'll invite you to think back to your own earliest memory of using your voice. Maybe you heard similar feedback and used it as fuel to keep speaking. But maybe, and more commonly, you took people's comments and made them into vocal roadblocks which hindered your ability to use your voice effectively. Why is this important? Well, our earliest memories and feelings of using our voice are directly correlated to how we feel about using our voices today. How does that old saying go? Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it? Yeah – that also applies to your voice.
Now think about your current voice at work. Do you trust it? Do you use it often and does it sound like you? Do you feel excited to share your thoughts and opinions with others? If you answered YES to all three questions, CONGRATULATIONS – and get out of here, this talk isn’t for you! But if you answered NO to any of those questions, I invite you to stick around and start thinking about why.
Let’s start with the basics – reconnecting to your voice.
My guess is that as a living breathing human listening to this talk, you have a brain, a mouth, and a pulse. Yes? Ok, great. You have everything you need to speak with confidence and authority. Talk over. Mic drop …Just kidding. But, for real, these are the only three things you need to start sharing your thoughts and ideas with other people. So why then do we have such a hard time using our voices?
It all goes back to the baggage we are holding onto. There’s a reason the airport only lets you check one bag for free, people! But back to my point. When you think of using your voice at work and then you don’t, what is the reason? Is it fear of challenging a leader or authority figure? Is it the opinions of your peers? Imposter syndrome? The fear of taking up too much space and getting told that you talk TOO MUCH? Been there, done that. Got the post card!
Now compare your earliest memory of using your voice and your current vocal roadblocks at work. Are there any similarities? Are they the same... damn... thing...? Chances are you have an imaginary light bulb shining bright over your headright now. I know I did when I started doing this work. This is where things will start to get interesting.
Now, whatever your vocal roadblock is – I first want to say that your feelings are valid, and I want you to thank it. Thank it? Yes, yes. Stay with me here. There was a reason you adopted this feeling around using your voice. It’s possible that at some point in time this was designed to keep you safe. But now, these feelings you’ve tied to using your voice are no longer serving you. So as Elsa from Frozen sings, “LET IT GOOO, LET IT GOOOO!” To my fellow parents out there, I know you know this song by heart. You better be singing!
Alright, so now that you have recognized your roadblocks and named them. The next step is to recognize your triggers and develop a plan for what you’re going to do when they show up.
Here are a few tools to keep in your tool belt;
Your "I’m awesome” file. Yep – I want you to build a file somewhere you can quickly access it (MS Teams is a great tool for this) where you will keep ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that describes why you are AWESOME. Got feedback from a co-worker about something you did for them? In the file. Got a letter from HR about your recent promotion? In the file. This file is where you are going to go when your imposter starts to creep in. When you hear them say “who are you to say that?”. You are the owner of that AWESOME file, that’s who you are!
Celebrate when you do use your voice (even when you don’t get what you want). You ever heard of a hype man? For those who aren’t fans of hip hop, a hype man is the person they get to get the crowd excited before the main performer comes onstage. I want you to become your own hype person!
Say yes to opportunities to use your voice. And I’m not just talking about at work. You want to practice using your voice in many different contexts and little moments so that when it comes to those BIG moments, those CAREER defining moments, it’s not your first kick at the can.
Alright folks, this is about the time when I take a moment to keep it real with you all. I would be doing you all a disservice if I didn’t talk about the correlation between privilege and using your voice. Every one of us has privileges that we need to be aware of. For me, I have the privilege of looking racially ambiguous (even though I’m East Indian on my mother’s side). I had the privilege of growing up in a wealthy community (even though my single parent family wasn’t wealthy) where I was afforded opportunities that others might not have been. Different levels of privilege are why some people, like me, find ease in using their voice, while others might feel more pressure. It’s also why as a person who was afforded these privileges, that I have a duty and an obligation to be sharing this talk with you. Helping to level the playing field is how I dismantle the systems that exist to keep people on different levels.
This is also where I call in the leaders. As leaders of people, with all the privilege that brings, you have a duty to support your people to use their voices at work. You need to create spaces where people feel safe and supported. This starts with being vulnerable and leading with humility. To steal a quote from your Leading with Impact training “A leader that builds connection leverages the strengths of everyone at all levels”. This starts with conversations where you get to know the people you are leading as people FIRST and then employees SECOND.Ask your employees what they’re good at, what makes them tick, what lights them up (and here’s the kicker...OUTSIDE OF WORK). You would be surprised to see the skills that translate from hobbies and passions outside of work. People, at our very core, want to be SEEN and HEARD. Let your people show you who they are and then help them bring that full self to their role. It will be MAGIC!
To those of you who don’t look like your leader or even the leader above them...or above them. I see you. It’s exhausting to feel like you must work twice as hard and be twice as good. Most times it feels like your voice isn’t wanted – you think, who am I to make this comment? There’s that imposter again. To you, I say. It is actually your voices we need to hear the most. As someone who doesn’t look like those in our current leadership, you have so much power and you don’t even realize it. Our organization needs to hear your viewpoints, your criticisms, your ideas. How on earth do you think things will ever change if we don’t have your voices reaching the tippy top of this organization? Speaking truth to power isn’t always easy but it does become easier when we’re not doing it alone. There is strength in numbers!
To those of you on teams where you don’t feel safe to use your voice — understand that this isn’t your fault. Your environment is a huge factor in feeling safe to speak freely. I’ll refer you to a great resource that was shared with me by my voice coach, Jameelah “Jam” Gamble, the OG Slayer of the mic. The resource is called 13 WORKPLACE FACTORS by the Mind Count Foundation. If you’re feeling unsafe in your current team, I invite you to use this tool to do an audit. How does your current environment score? Your friendly neighbourhood employee relations team would be very interested in your findings. Reach out to them, they’re lovely!
Now I want you to think about where you want your voice to take you. How do you want to feel when you use your voice? What opportunities are you putting your hand up for? What changes are you making? As the talented Marie Forleo always says, “the world needs that special gift that only you have”. My hope is that this talk inspires you to use your voice to share your gifts with us at EDC and your community around you. That, and hoping I can help you save money at the airport by getting rid of all that extra baggage. I’ve got you, friends. Life is expensive as hell!
Now let’s start talking. Thank you!