A reality check, posted by On Canada Project, states that it’s been over 10 years of Bell Let’s Talk Day and yet we’ve seen minimal support from our governments in providing care to Canadians, despite our “universal” health care system. This reality check really hit home for me — especially after experiencing the loss of my brother, at just 31 years old, just a few short months ago.
For the sake of my brother’s privacy, I have refrained from talking about him and his mental health struggles. Now that he is no longer with us, I feel it is imperative to talk about them and to raise awareness for others who might be struggling or have a loved one who is.
My brother, Joshua, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his mid twenties. Before his diagnosis, he was always categorized as “an angry kid”. Having lived through the divorce of our parents and our father’s own mental health and addictions, it was believed that Joshua simply “lacked a father figure” and this was why he was constantly lashing out. Some of my earliest memories of my brother include him getting very agitated when we would be out in public — like he needed to leave that very moment. He would often times get very frustrated and react strongly — and this was met with a lot of stress from my mother. Not having his diagnosis earlier, I feel, led to him finding unhealthy ways to cope with his feelings. Had he understood that this was a chemical imbalance in his brain and not who he was as a person, I feel like he might not have turned to drugs and alcohol to numb these feelings. That, in addition to getting more support from our health care system, could have led to a much different outcome for my brother.
What is bipolar disorder?
According to the Mood Disorders Society of Canada, Bipolar disorder involves changes in brain function leading to dramatic and severe mood swings that impair normal functioning at work/school and in relationships.
The symptoms which are most notable are what people will usually call “the highs and lows”. The highs are manic or hypomanic episodes, while the lows are very low depressive episodes.
It was not uncommon for Joshua to go days and sometimes weeks in a depressive state. He would sleep all day and had no interest in speaking with or seeing family or friends. Then, normally after using substances, he would go into a manic state — and this is where he would often get into trouble.
The depressive episodes made it very difficult for him to hold down jobs, maintain relationships and take care of himself. The manic episodes would have him engage in very risky behaviour, like drinking a driving, that would put his own well-being and others in harms way.
Stigmatization
Although the Bell Let’s Talk Day helps to bring discussions about mental health, it doesn’t shine a light on all mental illnesses — the ones most commonly referred to in campaigns tend to be anxiety and depression. Bipolar disorder impacts 1% of Canadians but the mortality rate for people with this mental illness is 2-3x higher than the general population. Why aren’t we talking about this?
In the media, we have Kanye West experiencing very evident manic episodes and people just laugh or treat him like a punch line. How do we expect regular people to act or feel if we don't even treat a person like Kanye, with all the power, money and privilege he has, with respect and human decency? Not to mention that we have to let Kanye get to crisis level before anyone will actually notice or do something to help. However, this isn't unlike how we treat regular every day people who suffer from this disorder.
Responsive vs Proactive
Mental health services are only covered if provided by a doctor/hospital. We’re only providing care reactively (ex. emergency crisis situations) and not preventatively. The On Canada Project states that by the time a person reaches the level of emergency crisis, they are likely at a point where they have gotten so deep in a hole of mental illness that it’s much harder to commit to getting help or getting back to a healthy state. This is exactly what happened with my brother, Joshua.
Joshua had resources — he had a family doctor, he had a case worker and doctor following him, he had support from his family, he had the financial means to pay for services — but even with those resources, the reactive approach of our medical system delayed his ability to get the support he needed and would lead to his death on July 7, 2022.
Since Joshua was over the age of 18, we could not legally force him into rehabilitation or to work with his doctor or case worker (which he had and would stop using about a year before his death). Had he been diagnosed earlier, and my mother and father provided resources to help him through his illness, he would have had a different life.
After being diagnosed, Joshua was placed on pills, shots and a number of different medications to control his bipolar disorder. The process of finding the right dosage was laborious and, at times, scary to see how they would affect him. I remember early on, when he was working with his doctor on medication strength, that he was sitting at the table talking to me and was drooling (but didn’t realize it). The dosage was so strong that he seemed like a zombie. I can only imagine how he must have felt being on that dosage and how discouraging it must have been to try and try to find the perfect combination and realize he would need to be on these meds forever.
Bipolar disorder research
When my brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (somewhere around 2010), there was limited research for the causes and treatments. Now, a little over a decade later, there are more studies and funding programs. I saw today that Bell Let's Talk funding has been provided to a study on personalized medicine for bipolar disorder. This is amazing news considering how long it took for my brother to find the right dosage for himself but we still have a long way to go and the stakes are extremely high.
What can you do to help?
If you're reading this, first off - thank you. Educating yourself and being aware of mental illnesses is the first step. Recognizing that you likely know or are someone with mental illness is also important. You never know what someone else is going through. Always be kind.
Sharing resources and stories is also another way to spread awareness and help to combat the stigma associated with mental illnesses like bipolar disorder.
And finally, asking people how they are and really listening. Noticing when someone is not acting themselves and having the courage to open the conversation for them. From my own experience, the first or even second or third try might yield nothing but showing the person you are there to listen (and that you're not going anywhere) is helpful.
If you love someone who is living with bipolar disorder, know that you're not alone. I know that it felt like I was the only one and it was hard to get support when I wanted to maintain my brother's privacy. I wish that I would have gotten myself a stronger support system for navigating the highs and lows of loving someone living with bipolar disorder. If you're where I was - I urge you to do that for yourself. It's a very lonely road otherwise.
If you've made it this far - thank you. I appreciate you more than you know. Now #letstalk.
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